


there for you

by chansehbaek



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, Smut, hendery is always angry i mean most of the time but hes also soft, im sorry johnten fans, insecure hendery but also insecure ten pls love them, mention of cheating but only that, ten is hella funny, the smut scene is after drinking but i swear they're sober, there's throwing up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 08:14:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20597570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chansehbaek/pseuds/chansehbaek
Summary: they say that what's broken can always be fixed. we can pretty much say the same about our hearts.





	there for you

**Author's Note:**

> the title comes from the song "there for you - martin garrix and troye sivan". i hope u guys like it, i know there's a lot of angsty tendery fics already but idk i felt like it so sdkjdfk sorry? i promise the end is cute...... ♡꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱

kunhang wasn’t the type to get sad frequently ─ at least not in public, not when his friends were around, and that’s why kunhang was known as the funny one in their group of friends. 

“you okay?” kunhang heard someone say through the sound of loud singing. it was xiaojun. 

“yeah,” kunhang noticed how dry his throat was. only then he realized he had been quiet for a while now. he forced a smile. “don’t i look okay?”

xiaojun looked at him, as if trying to see something kunhang’s eyes were hiding. 

“you seem quiet,” he said. “and that coming from you is a little bit strange.” xiaojun darted his eyes to the other side of the bonfire. the night was quiet and the only light, apart from the moon above them, was the yellowish color provided from the fire. “everything okay with you two?”

kunhang didn’t have to follow his eyes to know who xiaojun was talking about.

his heart was beating fast. kunhang wanted to talk about it, he, deep down, was relieved someone noticed how sad he has been and he was glad he had the opportunity to talk to someone about the damn thoughts that kept him awake during the night. 

but kunhang wasn’t the type to do so. 

he just smiled the pain away ─ as he always did.

“yeah.” he simply said.

“you do realize that he’s kinda─” xiaojun tried.

“i know.” kunhang shut him before the words came out of his mouth. 

“then why─”

“just leave it alone, ok?” 

xiajun wasn’t stupid. he has known hendery for years. kunhang was hard to understand, as if he had layers and more layers covering everything he felt and had only a mask with a plastered smile as all he allowed people to see.

“hendery,” xiaojun called and kunhang hated him for a moment, hated that his friend called him by the nickname a certain someone gave him. hated that it hurt so much. “i know something happened between you and ten and─”

“we broke up, okay?!” kunhang finally looked at xiaojun in the eye. he felt so angry, but at the same time he felt really shitty for treating his friend badly. “we’re done so i don’t fucking care who he fucks with and other things, so leave it be!” 

kunhang felt relieved after letting all go. his breathing got stuck in his throat as he looked around and noticed that he might’ve just said it a little bit louder than he intended to. kunhang looked at everyone’s faces, people he knew and people he only saw a couple of times since he started to date ten.

ten.

unfortunately kunhang’s eyes met ten’s and he wished it didn’t. the place was dark but, for him, it felt as if all the light emanating from the bonfire was brightening ten’s features. 

ten looked at him with surprise. kunhang realized how pitiful ten’s eyes were towards him and, in an attempt to darte his gaze, he saw how his ex’s hands were firmly placed on johnny’s tights as if it always belonged there. as if ten’s palms have finally found a perfect place to rest. 

kunhang heard xiaojun say something but he couldn’t quite understand the words. he got up as fast as he could, not daring to look at anyone before he ran through the forest and found what used to be his favorite spot near the lake. 

everyone knew that, since college started, the big rock near the lake that they had near the campus, was kunhang’s favorite spot. the place he introduced to ten. the place he used to go when he needed to think, the place ten always found him when kunhang was crying because some stupid grade he got in some stupid class, he hated that it was right at that rock that he and ten had their first kiss but what he hated the most was the fact that ten simply bought his friends to a place that was supposed to be theirs. 

and that’s why since kunhang saw ten and johnny a little too close right after he and ten broke up, that kunhang has never came to his favorite place ever again. he had lost his favorite places, ten’s arms and the rock by the lake.

until today, because kunhang had nowhere else to go and the keys to his dorm was with xiaojun and there was no way that kunhang was coming back to the campfire.

he knew he shouldn’t have accepted the offer to go to the campfire. he also couldn’t blame his friends for inviting him because they didn’t know about him and ten. but it made kunhang angry, how could people not realize that they weren’t that close anymore? and that ten was always with johnny? kunhang knew it has been only two weeks since they broke up and that with all the college stuff this was the first time they all gathered together, but it still made him upset. 

maybe the person he was more upset at was himself. 

kunhang hated how cold he felt. he hated that he felt the tears wetting his face. he hated to cry, he hated that he was acting like an asshole, he hated that he made a fool of himself in front of a bunch of people and he hated that he probably embarrassed ten, but what he hated the most was the fact that he was beating himself up for someone that didn’t want him at all. 

kunhang’s vision was blurred by the tears but he could still see the moon reflected on the water. his mind started to look for memories related to that image and it found the one, not long ago, where ten was hugging him, right at the same place he was now, and they were talking about the moon, and ten said to him, “i will love you to the moon and back.” kunhang had laughed and hit him because sometimes ten was too silly to handle.

but, right now+, kunhang would kill to hear those words leave ten’s mouth. 

that day kunhang felt warm, even tho it was almost as cold as it was now. 

it didn’t take much until kunhang heard someone’s steps. he could still hear the singing and laughing from the campfire. he prayed it was xiaojun who came to comfort him.

“hey there.” 

kunhang’s heart started to beat fast, not expecting ten to be the one to come after him. his ex sat beside him, not close enough as they used to. he didn’t know how to feel about it. he wanted ten to be close to him, like they used to, but at the same time he hated ten for leaving him. he hated ten for a lot of things and the worst was the fact that he still loved the boy next to him more than he was supposed to.

kunhang didn’t respond, which made ten look at him. kunhang didn’t want to look back. he didn’t want ten to see him crying. he was afraid that the more he showed himself to ten the more ten would step away. 

“hendery─”

“don’t.” kunhang cut him the same way he did to xiaojun earlier. but xiaojun calling him hendery was way more different than ten doing so. it was less painful. “you don’t get to call me like that anymore.”

“sorry.” ten was taken aback. “if you don’t want me here, i can leave.” 

“you already did it once, so feel free to do it again.”

ten felt how hurt kunhang sounded and how angry he was towards him. 

“what the fuck, kunhang?” he hissed back. “don’t act like you’re the only one hurt here!” 

for the first time since ten sat beside him, kunhang looked at him in the eye. he couldn’t contain the sarcastic expression plastered on his face as he spoke:

“what do you know about hurt, ten,” kunhang wanted to cry so much, he could feel his throat tightening. “we barely broke up and you already got yourself some dick to have some fun with.”

kunhang’s words hurt ten in a way he couldn’t describe. the guy in front of him wasn’t the man he fell in love with and he was so disgusted about all the things that left hendery’s mouth that he didn’t even know what to say.

he didn’t even know if there was something worth saying to someone who’s not willing to listen.

ten got up, ready to leave, when hendery suddenly spoke again.

“did you?”

only then ten realized that he didn’t pay attention to what kunhang had said.

“what?” ten asked, voice low.

“did you cheat on me? with johnny?” 

ten looked down at the boy. kunhang was taller than him but right now he looked so small sitting on that giant rock, arms hugging his legs near his body.

ten wanted to scream at him. ten knew that kunhang had some deep insecurities and, ten wasn’t going to lie, in moments like these it made ten so upset. ten felt like he loved kunhang so deeply but kunhang never accepted his love nor believed in it.

it hurt ten, but deep down he knew that it hurt kunhang way more.

he remembered once when he said to kunhang that one of the things that hurt him the most was seeing the person he loved suffer in pain when there’s nothing you can do to help them.

he would hate to be the reason kunhang was in pain. he hated that he was the reason now. he didn’t want to make it worse. 

“i had never.” ten finally said. kunhang turned and looked at him. his eyes showed anger but ten could still see the childish features he had. ten made sure to hold kunhang’s gaze so he could see he was telling the truth. “i know it’s hard for you to believe but, i had never and i would never cheat on you, hendery. either you believe it or not.” 

kunhang didn’t seem like someone who was going to say something so ten left, leaving kunhang behind with lots of questions and way less chances to answer them.

xxx

“there’s a party today.” yangyang said. “at the frat house, y'all coming?”

“will ten be there?” kunhang asked.

“i think so?” yangyang said.

“then no.” kunhang simply said and yangyang rolled his eyes. 

“c’mon kunhang, it’s not a real party if you’re not there.”

“i agree.” xiaojun suddenly said without taking his eyes off of the book he was reading.

“also,” yangyang started. “you need to leave your room. and shower.”

kunhang, who was lying on his bed since he came from class, looked at his friend in dismay. 

yangyang sat on the bed next to him. 

“we’re worried about you, you know?” yangyang said and kunhang opened his mouth to say something but his friend didn’t let him. “we know you’re hurt and we know you don’t want to see him but… he hasn’t been around that much either and he might not be at the party, you know he doesn’t like parties.” kunhang wanted to ask him about ten not being around too much but he controlled himself. “also, we all gonna be there and it will be fun!”

kunhang was happy that he had met some wonderful people. 

he let a genuine smile appear on his face for the first time in weeks. 

“okay.” he said, defeated. “it might be fun.”

xxx

kunhang still remembers the last time he went to a party. it was with ten and the fact that ten was hating being there and talking shit about almost everyone in the room was the most fun thing that night. 

it was the same house, the same people, some of them were new, but it was almost like kunhang was living that night all over again. 

he remembers drinking with ten on the balcony, far from the crowd, far from everyone, only the two of them in their own world. kunhang remembers how his back hurt against the hard surface of the balcony when ten kissed him a little too eager compared to before. he remembers how strongly ten’s body felt pressed against his, even after when they went to kunhang’s dorm room and made out until there were no clothes separating them. 

that night was perfect in kunhang’s point of view. ten was so caring to him, praising him with words and actions, kissing every corner of kunhang’s body and being nothing but patient to kunhang’s first time. 

“hey!” yukhei’s voice woke kunhang out of his daydream. “you guys came! i’m so happy,” he looked at kunhang with a big smile on his face. yukhei was just like kunhang, always showing a goofy smile without a reason. kunhang missed having it. “welcome back bro.” he said directly to kunhang, which only smiled back.

two minutes in and yangyang was nowhere to be seen, xiaojun went to the bathroom and simply disappeared and yukhei was dancing half naked in the crowd. kunhang, on the other side, was too sober to handle all of that.

he decided to go to the kitchen and get some drinks ─ a task not that easy to do as he took more than a minute to cross a small room because of the amount of people dancing. 

to his surprise he didn’t expect to find the last person he wanted to see.

by the look on ten’s face, he wasn’t expecting kunhang either.

unfortunately, to kunhang’s unlucky ass, the drinks were right besides ten, who was sitting on the kitchen countertop

and not only that, johnny was next to him, in front of the drinks. 

when kunhang had finally found the courage to go there, a hand touched his shoulder, calling his attention. 

“wong kunhang?” 

“kun-ge?” kunhang looked at the boy, surprised. it didn’t take long until kun hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. “what are you doing here?”

“yukhei invited me,” he said, all smiles. “do you want some drink? i was about to get one for me and saw you there.”

“yes, please.” kunhang said. he darted his eyes from kun to ten and tried not to think about how ten was looking at him before he did so. 

“here.” kun handled him some pinkish drink, which kunhang thought it was better not to know what’s inside. “so, how are things?” kun asked and, before leaving the kitchen, kunhang looked at ten once more.

his heart broke when noticing that ten’s eyes were not on him. johnny was the one who had all his attention.

the, facing kun, kunhang answered. “things are great,” he forced a smile. “let’s drink and dance, shall we?”

xxx

“you do realize that you did something very stupid, don’t you?” 

“you’re so annoying.” ten said while was scrolling through instagram, videos of different kittens showing up as he went through the app. he was glad that finals were over and he had almost a week before his teachers had lots of texts for students to read again. until then he could spend some time with his friends without feeling guilty. partying wasn’t exactly what he had in mind but this will do. 

“why did you broke up with him?” johnny asked and usually ten would ignore but, even through the loud music ten could see that johnny was being serious. which barely happened.

honestly, ten was too sober to think about it. he’s not sure if he knows the answer. inside his mind, kunhang was better off without him anyway. but they also started to fight a lot and ten started to think that it was better if they drift apart. 

“i’ve known you for years and i’ve never seen you more alive compared the days you were with him.” johnny said and ten wanted him to shut up but he wasn’t going to ask. “i’m not saying that you’re only happy when you’re with him or something like that, because that’s not healthy, but all that soulmate bullshit makes sense when i look at you guys, i gotta admit that.” 

“you’re so romantic, johnny.” ten said kinda sarcastic but deep down johnny words hurt. 

“stop being playful for once, ten.” johnny said, taking a sip of his drink. ten looked at him, feeling defeated once realizing that his friend wouldn’t change the topic. “do you still love him?”

ten looked down at his phone, not trusting himself to answer that. not once ten let himself have a breakdown since they broke up and he always avoided thinking about his feelings and now, in public, it wasn’t the best place nor moment to do so.

he decided to shrug. 

“does it matter now?” he played with the object between his hands, a sad smile appearing on his lips even though johnny couldn’t see. 

“go ask him.” johnny’s affirmation called ten’s attention. he did not expect johnny to say something like that.

“you,” he started. “of all people, asking me to chase after an ex boyfriend? who are you and what have you done with my friend?” 

johnny laughed.

“everyone knows that kunhang is not just an ex, ten.”

ten looked back at him.

“hate that you’re always right.” ten said, jumping from the kitchen countertop. 

xxx

kunhang really doesn’t know what happened because at one second he was just drinking and dancing and the other minute he was inside kun’s arms and being kissed to the point that he was left breathless. His brain screamed at him to take a step back, but he couldn’t because kun’s arms were strong around him and kunhang was feeling dizzy, bt conscious enough to not enjoy the kiss. at all.

he suddenly felt like in those fight or flight situations. feeling his chest tightening and the alcohol suddenly hitting him stronger than before, kunhang turned his face away as kun tried to kiss him again. he opened his eyes, suddenly feeling unprotected and scared as he looked at kun’s face. the music was loud and the flashing purple lights were making him nauseous.

“why did you do that?” kunhang asked. kun still had his arms around him and kunhang put a hand on his pectoral to prevent the other from getting closer.

“you seemed like you wanted?” kun said as if it was obvious. 

“no?” kunhang angrily said.

“it was just a kiss, chill.” kun laughed, suddenly closer.

“don’t─” kunhang was considering throwing his drink at the other when ten appeared out of nowhere. 

at least that’s what kunhang thought because, in fact, ten was there the whole time and saw everything that happened.

“have you ever heard about consent?” ten said directly to kun as he grabbed kunhang by the arm. “take your filthy hands off of him or i’ll make sure you lose not only them but also the tiny thing you have between your legs.” 

“who the fuck are you?” kun asked but ten was already far from him and gladly kunhang followed him along. 

“did he follow us?” ten looked back as he stopped at the balcony, kunhang’s arm still between his fingers.

kunhang just shook his head, his eyes directed to the floor. 

“i can take care of myself, you know, right?” 

“i do know,” ten answered, finally letting go of the boy’s arm. “i’m sure a punch from those big hands of yours might hurt a lot.” he joked.

kunhang didn’t follow his humorous tone.

“thanks.” kunhang finally said. he raised his head but his eyes didn’t catch ten’s. instead, kunhang looked at the house’s window. he could see his and ten’s reflection. 

“where are your friends? did they leave you drinking all by yourself?” ten asked.

“you always tell me to grow up and now you want people to babysit me?”

ten let a bitter laugh leave between his lips.

“ouch.” he said before moving away from the balcony, ready to go inside, when kunhang’s fingers curled around his wrist. 

“i’m sorry.” kunhang said in a rushed tone as if he was afraid ten might leave. again. “i’m really sorry, ten.”

ten turned to face him and was surprised to see kunhang looking back at him.

“i’m sorry, i’ve been mean to you because i’m hurt but i know that i’m also part of this break up.” he said and ten couldn’t miss the fact that kunhang’s fingers were cold and how his words sounded so clear, even tho his eyes showed that he was a little bit drunk, as if he had rehearsed this speech in his mind a lot of times. “i know i’m complicated and you’ve been through a lot since you started g─”

“hendery,” ten used his free hand to touch the one kunhang still had around his wrist. “you’re not the problem. at all. believe me on this one.”

kunhang couldn’t understand. he stared at ten deeply in the eyes, looking for something more but he couldn’t see. he didn’t understand.

“but─”

“yeah, we had our problems, all couples have,” ten said. “and i feel like i’ve been blaming you for a lot of things lately instead of trying to work things out and i’m sorry about that.”

“we both did the blaming thing, ten-ge.” 

they stared at each other’s eyes long enough for it to be considered uncomfortable. ten was the first one to break the silence. 

“so, we’re okay?” he asked.

“yeah.” kunhang said with a smile. he was about to say something more when yangyang suddenly appeared behind ten. he looked confused while looking at the scene in front of him. 

“am i interrupting something?” he asked. 

ten was ready to answer when johnny appeared too, hitting yangyang on the head.

“you moron, the hell you doing here?” he asked yangyang but his eyes scanned between kunhang and ten. suddenly yangyang had the obvious expression of realization on his face. 

kunhang didn’t know if he was too drunk or if he was in perfect condition when he saw ten blushing because he could count on one hand the times he saw ten being nervous or shy about something.

“do you need a ride back?” johnny asked and kunhang took some time before realizing johnny was talking to him. 

“yes, he does.” ten answered instead. “our eboy here is too drunk to go back by walking.”

“what did you just called me?”

“nothing.”

“what about xiaojun?” kunhang asked. 

“it’s still early,” yangyang said. “the party has just began. go ahead, i’ll tell them you left in safe hands.” 

kunhang just nodded.

xxx

if someone had told kunhang one month ago that he would be inside johnny’s car right next to ten he would have had slapped the person on the face.  
however he was too soft to do so. he would probably just laugh. nervously.

but now, for some odd reason, he wasn’t bothered. it was like he was already used to not having ten as his. but deep down he knew it wasn’t true.

“isn’t it strange that you have your ex and your current boyfriend in the same car?” he asked all of sudden. he knew it was the alcohol talking but he also had this thing where he made jokes in wrong situations so it wasn’t that odd.

ten, who was sitting on the backseat next to kunhang, looked at him in surprise. 

“what?” he asked and kunhang arched a brow at his direction. his hair was so long, reaching past his eyes, that ten almost missed the action. “you really do believe that me and this idiot here are dating?”

“i can hear you.” johnny said with amusement.

“just keep on driving, chauffeur.”

kunhang ignored their banter.

“people were talking,” he said. “like, even before we…” he didn’t finish but ten knew he was going to say broke up.

“i… i didn’t know about that?” ten whispered. 

“some people even stopped me on campus to ask about it.”

ten suddenly felt his inside twist. he didn’t know any of it and it made him angry because 1. he didn’t notice 2. people sucked and last:

“why didn’t you tell me, hendery?”

kunhang just looked at him for some time and then looked away. they arrived at their college building and ten was left with no answer.

xxx

“i’ll spend the night, is that okay?” ten asked kunhang, who only nodded while opening the door to his dorm. ten looked at johnny and thanked him for the ride, which only gave him the middle finger with a big smile on the face. their friendship really was strange, ten thought.

once inside the room, ten spoke:

“baby, do you want to throw up?” he was next to kunhang who was only trying to ignore the cute nickname. but ten called everyone baby, so he tried not to feel special. 

“yes but no, it’s gross.” he moaned. “i’m so nauseous.”

“you’ll feel better, then you’ll drink water and eat something.” ten put a hand on his back, slowly guiding him to the tiny bathroom kunhang shared with xiaojun. “i’ll help you.”

“no, no, it’s gross ten.” kunhang’s eyes were so big twards ten. ten loved them, they were full of life and sparkle and said so much, it was like having a glimpse of kunhang’s soul.

“i’ll get you some water then, alright?” kunhang nodded. ten continued. “i’ll be waiting.”

ten closed the door behind his back. he was about to open the small fridge the boys had in their room when he heard the strangled sound of kunhang vomiting. it happened three times and ten was relieved when he heard the faucet being open.

“so gross.” it was the first thing kunhang said when he left the small bathroom. 

“do you feel better?”

kunhang looked at the other boy, nodding. he didn’t know what to feel about ten taking care of him. he didn’t feel angry towards the boy anymore. he felt like the times he and ten were only friends because ten always had this thing of taking care of him. kunhang didn’t know if it was because he was younger or if he gave that energy, because he never saw ten being like this with any of his friends.

“here.” ten got up and handled him a bottle of water. there were some clean clothes on the desk ─ which ten knew, neither xiaojun nor hendery would be tidy enough to put on the wardrobe. he grabbed a navy blue shirt and black pants, alongside with some clothes he was sure it was kunhang’s because xiaojun was so small that ten doubted any of his clothes would fit. also kunhang was most likely to have black clothes.

kunhang closed the water bottle and put it on the nightstand. grabbing the clothes, he looked at ten with a sheepish look.

“will you close your eyes, please?”

“there’s nothing there i haven’t seen before.”

“ten!” 

“sorry!” ten said, going straight to the bathroom. “i’ll change here.”

kunhang sighed while changing his clothes in less than a minute before ten could come back. he was supposed to be sleepy but his mind was a mess. he looked at the clock, it was 11 p.m. they really did leave the party early.

ten came back to the room wearing kunhang’s clothes. they were a little bit bigger as kunhang had longer members compared to ten’s. 

ten grabbed a chocolate bar from the nightstand and handled to the other.

“won’t your boyfriend be mad if you spend the night?” kunhang asked as soon as ten sat on the bed beside him. 

“hendery,” ten looked at him. kunhang met his gaze. ten’s bare face was so beautiful kunhang could stare at it the whole night. “i’m not dating johnny. i have never ever dated johnny. and i would be crazy if i did.” he let a small laugh scape. 

kunhang remained quiet.

“you said some people were talking about it,” ten said. “i’m sorry you had to hear that, it wasn’t true. you should’ve told me.”

kunhang grabbed his pillow and hugged it while resting his back against the wall. ten did the same, sitting comfortably while facing the boy.

“i didn’t know how.” he confessed. “i didn’t know how to tell you things. i felt like each word that left my mouth was one more reason for you to step away. and you did.”

ten opened his mouth but kunhang cut him. ten could tell how hard it was for him to open up. he could see how hard his fingers were clenching the pillow.

“i’m tired of saying sorry, ten-ge.” he finally spoke. “i don’t want you to say sorry neither. the only thing i want in my life is someone who will love me the way i am, with all my flaws, which i know i have a lot, but─” he seemed to think. ten noticed how kunhang’s eyes barely met his. “like i said, i don’t think it’s your fault, you have no obligation on enduring a person like me because i know i’m damaged as hell and believe me when i say that you do deserve someone better─”

“hendery─”

“let me finish, please.” kunhang finally stared at him. “i’ve been through some shit, some you know of and some you don’t know about, and i’ve felt hopeless and hurt for more than i can remember. i don’t know how i’m still capable of loving and trusting after all i’ve been through. and it’s so new this self love thing and it’s a small process and i feel like it’s never enough.”

“you’re intense.” ten said. he quickly added. “not in a bad way but like, when you feel love, you feel it with all of your heart, and you’re kind hearted, even tho you’ve been hurt.” kunhang examined ten’s face as he spoke. “i envy you. do you know how hard is it, nowadays, to find someone with such a pure heart, hendery? 

kunhang didn’t answer.

“i’ve been hurt too, a lot.” ten said. “i’m sorry if sometimes i don’t understand you like i should, but i’m trying too. i’m still growing as a person too, and i’m still trying to love myself, you know?”

he made a pause. kunhang wasn’t sure if he was going to say something more.

“why did you broke up with me?” he decided to ask.

ten looked back at him. “i didn’t know what else to do.”

“did you miss me?” kunhang asked. 

“every day.” ten confessed.

kunhang suddenly let a laugh scape.

“what’s so funny?” ten asked, his own lips unintentionally curving in a smile. just by seeing hendery happy it automatically made ten smile.

“i don’t know, we’re so stupid.” 

“hey, don’t say that.” ten grabbed his hand. 

kunhang loved how smaller ten’s hands were compared to his. 

“i love you hendery,” ten said out of sudden. kunhang’s gaze met ten’s and only then he realized how much he missed those loving eyes staring back at him. “i love you and i hate when we fight but i hate even more when i can’t be with you.”

“i love you too, ten.” kunhang said. he felt so warm on the inside, as if this was all a dream. 

“how about we take things slow?” ten suggested.

“define slow?” kunhang asked.

“no sex, but kissing, maybe?” the older said, playfully.

kunhang hit him on the leg. 

“i can’t believe you were jealous of johnny.” ten confessed.

“how can i not?” kunhang let go of the pillow and laid on the bed, head resting on ten’s thigh. “he’s tall, funny, handsome, he drives a car, he’s experienced─”

“look who’s talking!” ten petted kunhang’s hair. “you’re tall, at least taller than me, you’re funny as hell, there’s no one funnier than you, you’re handsome, have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?” he paused. “you can’t drive but you can ride me really well, i think that counts as being experienced.”

“oh my god, please, shut up.” kunhang said, embarrassed, taking ten’s hand and putting it in front of his own eyes. “did you see the thing at the party? i mean, kun and i?” 

“so the bastard’s name is kun, uh?” ten said. “and yeah, i saw.”

ten made a pause. the way hendery’s hair was so soft between his fingers made him realize how much he missed him.

“are you okay?” ten asked. “about the kiss? you seemed very anxious.”

“i’m okay now. i don’t know why he did that. i’ve met him once at bowling when i went with yukhei.” kunhang shrugged. “but i was so ready to punch him.”

“oh, i shouldn’t have had interrupted then.”

kunhang laughed, a really genuine smile appearing on his face. it made ten heart beat faster.

“you’re so handsome.” ten whispered out of sudden, making kunhang’s smile fade a little with the confession. “you’re so damn handsome wong kunhang, and i love you so fucking much.” 

kunhang suddenly sat on the bed, his body facing ten’s. they looked like the chinese symbol, yin-yang, so different but at the same time one couldn’t exist without the other.

ten put one hand on kunhang’s jaw, his thumb tracing random patterns on the boy’s cheek. 

“your fingers are cold.” kunhang pointed out. his voice was so low that it left as a whisper. “are you nervous?”

ten didn’t trust himself enough to answer. he only nodded.

“why?” kunhang asked with amusement. he was usually the one who got nervous around ten.

“i don’t know.” the other said. “don’t laugh at me.”

“i’m not!” kunhang said, a soft expression appearing on his face. “it’s cute.”

ten smiled and kunhang felt the tip of his nose brush against his as ten brought his face closer. if there was one thing that left kunhang breathless was the look on ten’s face when he was about to kiss him. the way his eyes seemed to ask silently for permission, every time. the way ten couldn’t barely look away from his lips. it all made kunhang’s heart beat so fast that he was afraid ten might be able to hear.

ten’s lips were soft just like kunhang remembered them. but he couldn’t remember when was the last time they kissed like this, just their lips slightly touching, before ten pulled out and looked at kunhang’s reaction. he found it funny, as if ten was unsure if he should have done it or not. 

kunhang slightly rubbed ten’s cheek with the tip of his nose, leaving small kisses through the path till his neck. he wanted to smile as he felt ten’s body tense and his breathing sped up under him. 

“i love you.” kunhang whispered next to ten’s ear. kunhang’s voice was so deep and the hot air that left his mouth as he spoke near his neck was enough to make ten shiver.

he did not expect hendery to, all of sudden, sit on his lap. the younger put both his hands around ten’s neck and grabbed the hair on his nape, obliging ten to look at him. ten loved when kunhang was demanding.

kunhang had his cheeks all flustered, ten noticed. ten himself, as he felt his face hot, knew he wasn’t much different. they were acting like they’ve never done this before, but there’s a whole difference between having sex and making love. and they realized that now. it has been quite some time since they let their heart on the sleeve like this. 

“are you sure?” ten asked. 

“i couldn’t be more certain of something in my life.” 

kunhang himself lowered his body and met ten’s lips with his. he was so eager, ten realized. kunhang was usually a gentler kisser, he liked to explore and take his time when it comes to pace, following every move made by ten. but this time was so much different. ten felt how urgent kunhang was, he could feel how much kunhang missed him and the hoarse moan that left ten’s throat showed the same.

they didn’t spend much time kissing before hendery was laying on the bed, body fully naked, while ten left kisses on his waist. kunhang was sure he was about to tear the sheet apart with how much he squeezed them in a attemption to survive all the teasing.

on the other hand, ten had his face so close to kunhang’s cock and it was driving the younger mad. it was so hard, its tip all reddish and wet, laying hard against kunhang’s belly and all kunhang wanted was to feel some relief. 

“ten,” kunhang gasped. “please.”

ten looked up and the state kunhang was in was capable of making him come untouched. kunhang had his hair messy, some hair strands stuck on his sweaty forehead. his cheeks were red and his lips so swollen because he had this habit of biting them instead of moaning ─ something ten had yet to teach him because, damn, kunhang’s moans were the best thing ten’s ears have ever heard.

“you look so wrecked already.” ten was now kissing the inside of kunhang’s tight. the boy was about to start crying. he really felt tears about to leave his eyes when ten suddenly got up from the bed and went to the nightstand. 

“ten.” kunhang called. the way his name left the boy’s mouth, all shaky and rusky, made ten shiver.

“i’m coming, i’m coming.” ten grabbed the condom and lube as fast as he could and went back to the bed. he found it cute how both kunhang's hands went to meet him. it was just kunhang’s way of asking ten to not leave him alone. 

“don’t leave.” kunhang asked. the way ten looked at him, deeply, fully naked, both his body and soul, it was everything kunhang wished all those weeks they’ve been apart. 

“i’m here, baby.” ten said, kissing him on the cheek as he gently entered kunhang’s body with one finger ─ slowly ─ so the boy could get used to the feeling. “and i plan on staying.”

he then kissed kunhang, who only opened his mouth and moaned as ten started to move his finger almost on the same rhythm as his tongue.

when ten finally entered his body, kunhang felt like it was their first time all over again. everything was so gentle, so delicate and so intimate that kunhang could hear ten saying that he loved him even though the only word leaving ten’s lips was his name.

after a while kunhang was panting underneath him and ten did nothing but leave kisses all over his face while whispering sweet words the boy deserved to hear. 

ten fucked him slow, the way that left kunhang so desperate. at each thrust he felt like coming already but it wasn’t enough for it to happen. ten was such a teaser. everything was so hot, his body, ten’s body, ten’s moans, ten’s gaze ─ so intense. kunhang felt so overwhelmed, even more now that ten had put his thumb on his lip. he didn’t even had to ask before kunhang put his tongue out, the action making ten invade his mouth with the finger, which kunhang sucked urgently.

“you do like having something in your mouth, uh?” ten whispered, removing his finger and replacing it with his tongue instead. the way kunhang moaned against his mouth was too much for him. he could barely keep up with the slow pace. 

“t-ten,” kunhang gasped. ten has seen kunhang wrecked so many times but now he wasn’t even able to speak clearly. “make me cum. please.”

ten only nodded as he left kisses around kunhang’s neck, licking the skin there and moaning next to his ear. he slowly increased the pace of his thrusts and as he did so he was finally able to hear the shameless moans that left the boy’s mouth.

ten wanted to tell him how much he liked to hear him moan, wanted to tell him how well he was doing and how much ten loved him, but his actions were enough for kunhang. having ten moaning his name over and over again, begging kunhang to come for him, fucking him fast and hard, it all was enough for kunhang to feel his orgasm taking over his body. he knew ten could feel it too, the way kunhang’s body was tighting around his cock, how difficult it was for ten to keep with his pace. in the end, the need to come together with kunhang was enough for ten to reach his orgasm, right after his lover’s, as kunhang’s soft and tired moans echoed through the silent room, filling ten’s ears with nothing but his sounds of pleasure .

there was no energy left in ten’s body after he took the condom off and threw it away. he got his shirt ─ which was in fact kunhang’s ─ and cleaned the younger’s body. kunhang looked so tired and sleepy too but there was a soft smile on his face as he looked back at ten, who gave him the same type of smile.

“take things slow, uh?” kunhang’s voice echoed in the room and ten could only laugh at what he’d heard. 

“we’ll start tomorrow, shall we?” he said, amused. “now i just want to sleep in your arms.”

kunhang waited as ten laid beside him and found a comfortable position to rest before hugging him with his arm. ten loved to sleep with his head resting on kunhang’s pectoral while kunhang loved having ten’s head right under his chin. 

“baby?” ten called. kunhang only murmured in response. “i love you.”

even though he was sleepy, kunhang couldn’t stop smiling. he could feel that neither could ten.

“i love you too, ten-ge.” 

and that’s how they slept, right where they belonged.

kunhang then realized that, even though the big rock by the lake was considered his favorite spot, anywhere could be a perfect one if ten were right next to him.

**Author's Note:**

> well first of all i want to say sorry ? bc english is not my first language so if there's any grammar mistake im sorry ;; also if u read thank u it means a lot to me!!! i kinda wrote all this in one go so u can say that i really put my heart into it. hope u enjoyed!! ( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎) [also im thinking about writing another one about them after all this ~a cute one~ tell me if u would like!!]


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